Personal Relationships
“…accommodate my friend’s processing needs and is never in a hurry to impose a result.”
I have been working with Cecil for a friend’s situation for 5 months. I am grateful for Cecil’s gentle yet goal-oriented approach. He is gentle to accommodate my friend’s processing needs and is never in a hurry to impose a result or a goal. Cecil guided my friend in navigating a multilayered personal mess and helped him not lose sight of what goals were most important to him. Cecil is able to see the whole situation from a bird’s-eye view and concisely pinpoint the challenges. Outside of coaching sessions, Cecil is readily available for check-ins and quick feedback. Through the last 5 months, Cecil has become a loyal friend who is always on our side and speaking the truth in a loving way.
M. Kim
“helps me see my challenges with clarity and new perspective”
Cecil is an amazing life coach who has guided me to know myself, my husband, my children, and my extended family members in a deeper way. He not only listens well, he is able to see my unspoken concerns for my family and helps me see my challenges with clarity and new perspective. I like Cecil's coaching style because he asks "What matters to me the most" in each session and requests takeaways and action plans through goal settings and reflections. He sets a good example in communication by asking constructive questions and shows me some powerful tools to effectively communicate with my husband and children. He is kind and shares helpful resources timely to reduce my family tensions. I cannot thank him enough for his care and coaching to help me develop a growth mindset to integrate body, heart, and mind into one and become whole.
~ A.S.
"helps me identify realistic short-term tangible goals"
I came to Sunset Church (SC) as somebody raised Catholic who didn’t pay much attention, and had not had exposure to or interest in any kind of faith since High School. I was looking for a spiritual foundation for my 3 young children (especially my oldest daughter), not a renewal of my own faith. But I found Jesus and a longing to be born again! I owe so much to Cecil.
I began volunteering in Christian Ed not long after I came to SC, and made connections with CE staff, attended seminars, and found a love for reading the Bible and applying it to my daily life. But accepting Jesus as my savior has not been an easy journey. Cecil has been an incredible help in understanding and exploring Biblical principles and truths, but also in more personal matters (which I came to understand are also Biblical!).
When I am most confused and feeling lost in relationships with my husband, my children, and my parents, Cecil helps me clear the fog and gain some focus and direction. Somehow, my self-doubt and frustration are replaced with God’s love and grace. Cecil lifts me up and helps me to see myself as God sees me. And he also helps me to see my family as God sees them, in their pain and brokenness, so I can love them more deeply and forgive. Cecil helps me identify realistic short-term tangible goals. And having goals, the anxiety and frustration subside. Feeling renewed and filled with God’s love and Grace, I am energized, invigorated, and excited about continuing my journey. Amen!!
~ T. C., San Francisco, CA
"Coaching was effective in identifying my blind spots"
I’ve worked with Cecil in the Sunset Church CE (Christian Education) ministry as CE committee member and CE teacher, and as facilitator in the Aphesis Immersion Experience program. More recently, I was leader of a small group that spun off from Immersion Experience, and Cecil helped coach me in leading the group and in personal spiritual growth. I found that his method of coaching/disciplining was effective in helping me identify my blind spots and painful areas of my life that I often try to avoid.
I remember in one meeting, Cecil was trying to encourage me to think about what spiritual growth would mean to me and what it would look like. I was getting stuck and he asked me to think about what my dreams would be. I told him I’m afraid to dream about the great things I could do for God because I’m tired of feeling disappointed when my dreams don’t seem to go anywhere. Cecil helped me see that I can overcome my fear of disappointment by relying on God’s comfort, and there is hope to get myself ‘unstuck’.
In another meeting Cecil was trying to help me identify the obstacles that are blocking me from living the spiritual life that I want to live. I had been involved in a few ministries and have had to pull back the last few years so I could focus on discipling my husband and teenage sons. We identified that treating my family with love and grace is easier for me than challenging them. Both are needed to foster spiritual growth in my family members. Since then, I had challenged my sons to ask God to help them be more loving to each other when they get mad at each other. It was a simple request, but surprisingly, they’ve stepped up to the challenge and have been consciously trying to do nice things for each other and not fight over little things. I haven’t tried this on my husband yet, but I plan to very soon. A part of me is bracing for the disappointment I might feel if the challenge goes nowhere, but I’ve experienced God’s great comfort after going through the Immersion Experience Program, so I know God will be there for me if that happens. Cecil tells me I have courage because I’m willing to risk being hurt to follow where God is leading me. I don’t feel courageous, but if that’s what God thinks of me, that’s great! I am thankful for leaders like Cecil who encourage me in my spiritual walk and help me see my life and relationships from God’s perspective.
~ L. Wong, San Francisco, CA
"I've learned a lot about myself"
One of the things that I am most grateful for is how much healthier conflicts with my wife are now. When you and I first started to meet, Dianne and I would occasionally have these really terrible exchanges that would hang around for weeks until we were both exhausted and things would sort of just blow over. It was a very unhealthy way to resolve conflicts and whenever the next blow up would occur, the old wounds would eventually reopen and would usually be worse than the time before.
Some of the tools you’ve helped me with that have made a huge difference in how we handle conflict:
Self awareness – You introduced me to our personality types and how we actually fit a very common pattern. Just knowing that we aren’t the only ones was a huge relief and while the pattern has been “solved”, undoing the habits and tendencies that are deeply ingrained takes time and that is also normal
Love styles – part of the pattern is knowing that what works for me will absolutely not work for Dianne. And while it may seem like common sense once we worked through it, our natural tendency is to try and love our spouses in the same way that we want to be loved which in our case was very different
Empathy – Just to say that my wife fits “this pattern” wouldn’t have taken on the same meaning without thinking about how and why we are the way we are. How we grew up, how we interact with our families, why we try to resolve things the way we do.
Willingness to be open and vulnerable – This one was a big one for me. I always wondered why it felt like there wasn’t a ton of trust in our relationship, but actually sharing and talking about myself and my feelings was something that I did very little of.
Some real life examples – you also shared a lot about yourself and your own relationships. It was very encouraging to hear some of the stories about the changes you’ve made or how you resolve issues with your son or wife.
God’s design in all of this – We looked at scripture for the proof and for guidance as far as what man’s role is. Ephesians comes to mind and also your advice on how to read Proverbs. Tying in scripture to everyday life is something I have yet to be able to do and it was really good to see how you do it as I really have very few examples of what this looks like.
This is starting to get quite long winded, but one thing that I do want to mention is that this type of evolution can’t happen overnight or by going to small groups or conferences. Much of the learning has actually come from the journey itself rather than the “lesson” and I think what you did with me has been really successful. You gave me what I could absorb and then let me run off and “try”. Then we could talk about what worked and what didn’t the next time we met.
I’ve learned a lot about myself from you. Coaching is something I would have been the last person to ever ask for or think that I needed, but I was really shocked to find out how much I needed it.
~ D. N., San Francisco, CA
"Cecil was able to steer me in the right direction"
I found my life coaching sessions with Cecil to be both challenging and inspiring. Having been retired for over 10 years, why would I need life coaching? With my intention to get my son to engage in life coaching, I made an agreement with my son to participate if he would also.
I discovered through life coaching that there were obvious areas in my relationship with my family that needed restoration and healing. I believe Cecil has a genuine love and passion for the family and to see healing of relationships. Being firmly grounded in the Word of God, Cecil was able to steer me in the right direction to see healing begin in our home.
~ L. L, Pinole, CA
"Helped me understand basic principles of relationships"
My coaching sessions with Cecil have proven to be very dynamic and insightful.
Cecil helped me to understand the basic principles regarding relationships and what factors contribute to the make up of each individual.
When he explains the character of God, it is a wonderful, exciting and awesome picture of biblical truth spoken in a simple and dynamic manner.
I could not emphasize enough the positive results of these sessions. Sign up with Cecil now before he is all booked.
~ S. J., Emerald City, CA
"I had been skeptical of life coaching"
"I had been skeptical of life coaching but I’m really glad I did it. Cecil helped me to open up to my husband and talk about things that I didn’t even realize I was avoiding speaking about. He helped me to see things from a different perspective and be kinder to myself. Most importantly, he helped me see how I could live a happier life by living according to my own values. My life is still a work in progress but I feel like Cecil helped me get started going in the right direction again."
~ A. W., San Francisco, CA
"guides me through a great deal of life reflection"
“I’ve been meeting with Cecil regularly for over a year and have benefited greatly from his coaching help. I came to him unmotivated, unemployed, unfocused, and unsure of what to expect…During the meetings, Cecil guides me through a great deal of life reflection…giving me a better understanding of my identity and value in God – and how that impacts the decisions and outcomes of my life.
Most notably, I’ve recently been told on several occasions by my family and friends that they’ve noticed a great change in my connectedness with people…because I’ve grown in my capacity to love others and to love myself. I’m most proud of the progress that we’ve made in this area, since this has been particularly a struggle throughout my life and my personal resolution for 2012.
Great resource of accountability and valuable insight as my life coach for the last several years. Helped me achieve much more than i can alone and to just be in a better place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Prior to meeting with Cecil, I would often find myself at the end of year dealing with the same unresolved issues with each passing year. Working with Cecil through my life experiences (struggles, disappointments, failures, successes, etc.) has been invaluable to me. The way I see it, progress in God’s gift of life to me and the growing capacity to enjoy it is priceless.
A few of the standout qualities of Cecil that I’ve appreciated and benefited from are:
-strong leadership skills to guide me to a point of clarity/focus from the most confusing and lost moments
-great capacity to help me make real-life connections with God’s truth should that be my desire
-flexibility in accommodating my schedule”
~ G. W., San Bruno, CA
"Asks the right question"
“It is not as easy as it seems to be able to find someone whom you ultimately trust…someone who listens well, asks the right question, helps fuel your relationship with God and those you care about most, who believes in you, and works to bring out your best. Would highly recommend contacting Cecil if you need someone like I did and do, to help you in all aspects of family and life.
At the gut level, I know that nothing here on earth is as important to me as my family. Yet, there so many instances I fail to live out of my convictions or am at a loss as to what to do. It is so easy being distracted by other good things at the loss of the best. Cecil has helped me stay true to the people in my life I care about most. He has helped me realize that the way I relate to those closest to me, reveals where I am really at more than anything else does. I wholeheartedly recommend Cecil as a family and life coach.”
~ A. B., San Francisco, CA